About a month ago, ReasonBeing emailed me asking me to write a post about the boy scouts along with a number of other bloggers. I figured sure, I can come up with something, I know I don't like the boy scouts so writing a post for it should be no big deal. So here I am, 2 days before this post needs to go live and I have basically nothing. The problem is, I'm actually not all that well informed on this topic, I know I have a pretty bad opinion of the boy scouts, every time they come up in the news it seems it is a reason to dislike them (the organization obviously, not the kids).
So I figure the best thing to do is to check the wikipedia article out that talks about the controversies. Pretty much the first thing that comes up is that they don't allow atheists or homosexuals to be members. Honestly, that is enough for me, that reason alone would keep me from giving them any of my money, I don't want to support a bigoted organization in any way. This is the part where I am glad to have been contacted and I am glad to contribute, apparently the boy scouts sell Christmas trees all over the place. So if you are going to buy a Christmas tree, buy it from someone other than the boy scouts. Don't give money to a bigoted organization.
That's pretty much all I had, so I thought to myself "how can I spice this up a little? Oh I know, add some math puns!" It turned out pretty cringe-worthy, but it made me laugh anyway so I figured I'd share.
1. The boy scouts need to integrate.
Since they don't allow some people to be members, the English meaning of this applies perfectly. But the math meaning works too. You might know that the integral of a function f(x) is the area under the curve. But you can also use the integral to make a new function g(x)=∫x0f(s)ds which is the area under the curve so far. Wake up! The point is, the new function is a smoothed out function, See it in action below, the red function is the original function, and the blue one is it's integral. By integrating, we have gotten rid of the rough edges, and that's exactly what the boy scouts need to do.
As terrible as that was, it was really all I had that worked, I had a couple of other ideas that never really went anywhere. There's a normal subgroup, which is a group that is invariant under conjugation. So if you move it around the larger group it can get back where it started unchanged, can I use that? Are boy scouts the larger group and a subgroup within them is normal? Is society the larger group and the boy scouts the normal subgroup, that's the opposite of the joke I want. No good there. There's ideals in ring theory, but they have the same problem. I guess I could do something with lie theory, except it's pronounced lee, not lie, so any puns based on them being liars would bother me. I could try to do something with Christmas trees as mathematical trees, which are simple graphs with no loops, but how do I bring that back to the boy scouts? Shit.
Oh well, can't win 'em all.
Other people who are blogging about boy scouts today: (let's do reverse alpha sort)
Rippere, Always Evolving
Ramblings of Sheldon
My Humorous Agenda
Laughing in Purgatory
Kriss the Sexy Atheist
Emily Has Books
Dispatches from the Culture Wars
Camels with Hammers
Barrel of Oranges
A Voice of Reason